When Life Gives You Lemons…

…. Make lemonade!

Bonjour, it’s been a little while hasn’t it? I have a lot to catch up on don’t I?

I’ve been pondering how to write my first post of 2024, so I’m just going to go with the flow and write from the heart, as I always do. And then I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things as writing and being creative brings me so much joy and happiness. Writing fills my cup when I need to escape from the millions of lemons darting my way.

So, I’m not going to beat around the bush, I was completely MIA towards the back end of last year up until a few weeks ago. I had no phone or laptop, but my thoughts were running wild while recovering in hospital for around two months, which by the way, seems to be the story of my life.
I wasn’t fine, but I’m fine now. Well, I’m trying to be “fine”. Whatever “fine” is these days.

I did a lot of writing and brain-storming in hospital, so I will come back to those notes at a later date.

Anyway, towards the end of 2023, I became very reflective, as I often am every year.

I suppose when you’re edging towards your mid thirties or approaching a new year, you start questioning your happiness, what you want in life and everything that has happened in your life. And then before you know it, life gets all too much, a sense of a severely overwhelmed state of mind and then you’ve well and truly neglected of your own health and wellbeing.

My mind just needed a break! A break from traumatic events, a break to be at peace, a break from some toxic relationships. A break from the world.

I was bruised and broken approaching Christmas time and then before I knew it, I was being rushed to hospital in the most inhumane way. Hospitals are not the dreamiest of places to be in. It was a very lonely place to be in. I felt angry and sad that I was away from family and friends during a time which is supposed to be so jolly and joyful. However I overcame this “dark cloud” in February 2024. I was feeling hopeful, happy and ready to re-start my life, with or without the person I’d been with for around fourteen years. Which is scary to even type to the world.

I’m also back on medication, which was not an easy decision for me to make, but I needed “something” to ease my mind for a little while.

I think the jumble of words above is the best way I can explain things.

Things aren’t perfect and I don’t expect perfection because I’m an imperfectly perfect person and some of my words have caused a bit of pain. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment. Anyway, things are going to take some time, and for the time being, I’m in this “living in limbo” reality and that makes me feel uneasy as I’m a planner and I do tend to map out my life for the upcoming years.

All I know is that I know I want to be happy and work towards a somewhat stress-free relatively easy life. To not be controlled or told what I can and can’t do. And, to be loved and supported in the way that I need. Honestly for the first time in my life, I don’t know what my future holds regarding some aspects. I will just have to go with the flow this time round.

I do however have lots of plans and ideas for 2024. I do still feel like I sadly lost two months of my life and I’m trying to catch up with the backlog of my life. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself because I was in a bad way.

Anyway, I’m planning on working towards some goals to keep my mind happy and at peace.

My goals include some solo travelling while I work out what I truly want and while I figure out the next steps of my life. I’m still deciding how long I’m going to go for and where I’m actually going to go. I’ve always liked the idea of Italian adventures and to live the Italian dream. A “Zoey in Italy” dream.

I am going to the Cotswolds for five nights very soon with my mum and my Arch, but there is something about travelling solo that has played on my mind for a long time.

Travelling keeps my mind sane. I’m definitely one of those “look at that beautiful sunrise, sunset or stars” type of person. It makes me feel calm and happy that those gorgeous happenings in the sky can look so mesmerising. I do also love experiencing new places, new cultures and I have a connection with animals too.

When I travelled to Thailand and Canada in my twenties it gave me a sense of comfort, like I felt “at home” in a weird way. And, if I could re-live how I felt in those years that would give me so much satisfaction as I approach 35 this year.

I also want to gain some independence back and perhaps start learning to drive again, however, this time I want to learn the ways of automatic driving as I’ve heard it’s much easier than manual. For those who don’t know I stopped driving because I was involved in an awful car accident in 2017 when I wrote my car off, and truth be told, I lost my confidence from that moment.

Some other goals are to continue with my weight loss and exercise habits. I did lose a lot of weight in hospital, which made me happy. I am back to a size 10. However, I would ideally like to be an 8 if I can within the next year or two and STAY THAT SIZE!!!!

Another goal of mine is to begin trauma therapy, which I am planning to do in late March. I need so much therapy to overcome all the traumatic life experiences I have sadly endured in thirty four years. Trauma feels never-ending from time to time.

And then lastly, I would like to get back into work later on in the year. Because of my severe health complications I don’t know if I will ever be able to work full-time again. However, I may be able to do part-time. I just have to play by ear and consider if it is possible to do with all my health worries.

I’ve always toyed with the idea of going freelance, but I’m still deciding my career path. The good side to freelance is that you can choose to work when you want and in any location. It’s highly stressful at times with getting payments on time and the admin side of things, but it is an option in my future. I do like the safety net of being with a company, but I like being my own boss too and it’s helpful for my Introverted personality, as I love being at home and do my best work while at home.

Another work-related-thing I would like to do is to write a book or two. I’ve always wanted to do this. I feel like I’m in my prime years, “the mid thirties era”, where I am starting a new chapter in my life.

I feel like I could lock myself away in the countryside with my dog, stay in a cosy cabin, go for walks for hours, be inspired and just write for months on end.

Anyway, I need to eat a late lunch. So, I’m going to quickly re-read this, publish it and catch up with you all another time. I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to 2024! Can you believe it’s almost March?

10 Comments

  1. February 28, 2024 / 9:57 am

    It’s so lovely to see you back here again Zoey, and I’m so glad you’re doing better. It sounds like you’re had a rough time, but I love that you’re always positively making plans for the next chapter, the next steps. I think you’re somewhat local to me(?), so I’m just putting it out there: would love to pop for a coffee and cake sometime if you need a friend.

    • zoey
      Author
      February 28, 2024 / 10:33 am

      Thanks lovely lady! I think you’ve got to at least try to be positive in the dark periods. Not so easy at times but I’m quite happy and excited for the next chapter.
      Yes, I think we live near to one another. I am a Hertfordshire Hedgehog. Was born in Watford and lived here and the surrounding areas pretty much my entire life. Also lived in London for two years during my twenties.

      I would absolutely love that! Coffee and cake sounds perfect. I will message you on the gram to see when you’re free. Always wanted to meet some blogging friends in real life, but was always scared when I was younger. xx

  2. February 28, 2024 / 11:34 am

    You’ve been through so much, Zoey and deserve to be happy in whatever form that takes. Some solo travel sounds good and could be a tonic for you xx

    • zoey
      Author
      February 28, 2024 / 12:21 pm

      Thanks lovely! I agree, I’ve always wanted to do solo travelling, however, I never did it as I was a little scared and used to doing things with somebody. I’m excited and feeling happy for what’s to come. It’s of course still much very limbo stages but I need to do what is best for me. xx

  3. February 29, 2024 / 7:53 am

    I have to say, it’s warming post!

    It’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought and care into crafting this piece.

    Looking forward to reading more from you in the future!

    Cheers!

    Diana

    • zoey
      Author
      February 29, 2024 / 9:23 am

      Thank you Diana. Appreciate the kind words. xx

  4. Danielle Beautyblog
    March 3, 2024 / 5:43 pm

    So lovely to see you back Zoey and glad to hear you are doing well! This is such an honest post and I think solo travel sounds great, it’s something I would also like to do! xx

    Danielle’s Beauty Blog

    • zoey
      Author
      March 5, 2024 / 8:46 pm

      Thanks lovely. I’m excited to finally do it this year – still planning it all out, nothing booked yet. I think everyone should do solo travelling at least once in their lifetime. xx

  5. March 9, 2024 / 11:46 am

    So glad that you’re doing better now! It’s so nice of you to be this candid in your posts. I’m sure solo travelling will do you good once you’re ready to dive in. I’ve been on a few solo travels and met awesome people along the way, so why not? <3

    http://www.couture-case.com/

    • zoey
      Author
      March 9, 2024 / 12:25 pm

      Thanks lovely. Aw, that’s so good to hear. Yes, exactly that… why not! Not going to lie I’m absolutely terrified to do it and haven’t booked anything yet. I’ve just got back from the Cotswolds with my mum and Archie. So, having a few restful days then will look into solo travelling some more. xx

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