I’ve been debating about posting this, because one, it’s really fucking personal, and two, this could potentially help someone going through IVF and fertility issues.
As only my family and some of my close friends know, I just want to get my story out into the digital world. So here it goes… *deep breaths*
Last year in January we went through our first circle of IVF. Well, actually it all started in April 2019, but didn’t officially start the process until December.
We were both super excited to start a new chapter in our lives.
We’d been trying for years and I knew it was going to be hard as I have stage four endometriosis. I had a huge endo cyst on my right ovary and on my left, the fallopian tube is blocked from endometriosis tissue.
We decided IVF could be successful, little did I know the heartache that would follow afterwards.
We went through countless injections to grow follicles and get them to reach a certain size. After appointment after appointment (every other day for 2-3 weeks), we decided to increase my injection dosage to make sure they reach above around 16mm per follicle.
Joe did my injections, taking turns on each side of my tummy.
I remember we went to see a film at the cinema and did one injection in the car park at 9pm, as we had to do it at a particular time each day. If anyone saw us, they would probably think the worse lol.
But that was our life. Injection after injection.
The follicles finally reached a certain size and I was ready for egg collection.
The whole egg collection process was straight forward, we had to be at the clinic for 7am, I had a patient gown on and then I was put to sleep while they collected the eggs. After egg collection, I was ready to go home while they mixed the sperm and eggs together and left for a few days to fertilise.
I received a call a few days later, the specialist told me, out of the three eggs that were collected, only one had fertilised. We felt so lucky that just one out of three had survived.
I was told to come in to the clinic for embryo transfer the following day.
Embryo transfer was absolutely fine – it was like having a smear test. It was only awkward because I had a endo cyst on my right ovary and the specialist was trying to work around it to put the embryo in.
We got a taxi home as I wasn’t allowed to do too much walking and needed to rest.
THE EMBRYO WAS IN! WE WERE FINALLY PREGNANT! Or so I thought…
Two-three weeks later I bled.
We were devastated. I remember finding out at work, told the girls and went home that day as I was too upset to concentrate on anything.
Little did I know and sadly a month later, I fell really ill. I had to have two blood transfusions and the hospital doctors told me that my endo cyst had got infected.
I knew immediately there and then, that this must of happened when either I was going for egg collection or embryo transfer. An easy mistake to do. With the needle puncturing my cyst.
I didn’t have surgery until June due to the dreaded C-19 word, and by that time, I’d gone from being a size 12 to a size 8 as I was being sick constantly, I was rather fatigued and my hair started falling out. I explain my endometriosis operation in detail here, but long story short, I now have a stoma and one ovary. And my hair is finally growing back slowly. Still don’t have my fringe fully grown back, but it’s getting there.
We decided to wait till I have the reversal of my stoma to then try for IVF again (whenever that may be), as I don’t want to be pregnant with a stoma out of choice (if I did get lucky). But I’m terrified of something like this happening again. I only have one ovary left and I know I’ve got half the chance this time.
So that’s my IVF story to date. I hope this is helpful to somewhat one person. And I hope I haven’t put you off going through IVF, I just got really unlucky.
If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below or feel free to DM me on Instagram. I’m always here to listen and help from my experiences.
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You are amazing!
It’s so brave of you to share this Zoey and I hope it helps others like you said xx
Thank you Emma! Means a lot x
I think your incredibly brave sharing this Zoey. Think of all the women it’ll help. My heart goes out to you and your husband. xx
Thank you so much Lou! x
You and tour husband are so brave for talking is openly about your journey, I’m certain you’ll help so many women who are in the same situation and that takes incredible strength <3
Thank you so much Milli, your kind words mean a lot. x
Zoey your selflessness, bravery and courage shines through. I’m sure your story is reaching so many on a similar journey xx
Thank you auntie Carol! It’s truly amazing how many people have opened up and messaged me! Good to talk about such a taboo subject. xx
Wow, you really are incredible, well done for doing everything you’ve done so far, it really is stressful and emotional and you did, you cam out the other side. OK you didn’t get the news you wanted and of course have been through everything you have, I honestly have tears writing this as Im sad what happened to you did but you’re strong and you’ll do it again! Well done for getting this far and for being such a happy positive person(blig/insta… Of course I don’t know you, but that’s the vide you give off). I was unsuccessful first time at ivf with very few eggs and got my baby boy 2nd,I’m so hopefull you get your dream come true, just be proud of what you’ve done so far, happy weekend…. And your pup will bring you so much happiness xxxx
Aww Jo, thank you so much. Your comment really does mean so much to me. And congrats on a successful IVF baby 2nd time around! You must be over the moon! I love my little pup to pieces, it’s honestly like having a baby. He always needs me haha. xx
It is so incredibly courageous of you to share your story. I have been told that my chances of carrying my own children is pretty much 0%, so this is something that my husband and I are really researching and it is wonderful to hear somebody elses experiences.
Thank you Danielle! Sorry to hear that, infertility should be talked about more and more. Us women are always so scared to say anything. x
I’m so incredibly sad to hear of what you’ve been going through, Zoey. I’ve no doubt you sharing your story will help comfort anyone who has experienced something similar and happens to stumble across your honest account of your experience. Thinking of you xx
Gabrielle x | aglassofice.com x
Thank you Gabrielle! Your kind words mean a lot. x
So brave to open up about something so personal. I can’t imagine how difficult it all was, and then to have to face the op and get the stoma. You’ve been through a lot xx
Thank you Siobhan! It’s been challenging to say the least. But I’m doing 1000 times better. x
Every post like this helps reduce the stigma, no one should feel they can’t talk about something they need to. We love you and Joe so so much and are totally amazed at how bloody resilient you are through everything. You’re an incredible woman and thank you for sharing this personal story, as it will have helped people. Xx
Aww Beth, thank you so so much for your kind words. I really hope it helps reduce the stigma, it needs to be talked about more and more. Women shouldn’t feel like they have to live a secret life. xx
I have 2 friends that got ivf and both different experiences. Im sorry to here that its been so hard and i hope you doing much better now. I think you are helping alot of women with this story!
I’ve heard a mix of positive and unsuccessful stories, some trying 6 rounds of IVF to get pregnant. Thank you, I’m doing loads better now, glad I can finally open up about such a taboo subject. x
I know this is personal but you opening up to share your journey with us can be of help to all that is going through the same. Your willingness to put what this feels like into words is BRAVE and so appreciated. Sending you lots of love! Good luck!
Thank you lovely! Your kind words mean a lot. x