Why I Have A Love/Hate Relationship With The Gram

I hope some of you can relate to the title of this post, but I have a real love/hate relationship with Instagram!

Some days I love it and I’m posting on the daily, but other days I really just can’t be bothered or some days, it just gets me down.

I suppose the reason why I hate it muchly is because it shows a portion of your day, the ‘perfect’ gram shots, the ‘perfect’ life that people aspire to and look up to. The whole ‘influencer’ culture.

I miss the days when you would just post a photo without thinking twice about it, without thinking of a catchy caption or a long winded essay.

Not only this, the low engagement on my grid really gets me down, but why should I care? It’s only ‘likes’.
On stories I get 300-400 views on each one and when I get 30-50 likes on a post I’ve taken the time to carefully create, but reaches 300+ people. Of course you’re going to go down a downwards spiral of feeling like people dislike you and your content. Or maybe they just can’t be bothered to take a moment to double tap.

I also find just ‘scrolling’ through your feed hours upon hours of your day isn’t good for your mental wellbeing. Aspiring to have the life others have with their perfectly curated feeds and thousands of followers. But does this shit really make you happy? Will having 30k followers make you happy? The answer is probably not, because it’s NOT real life.

Yes it’s nice to have a bit of a following – I have 2.7k on Insta and I’m proud of my small following. People will follow you cause they take interest in your life and your grid. But truth be told, Instagram won’t be around forever, something new will come along, the likes of ‘Tik Tok’ for example. Anyway, my point being, followers don’t make you happy, it’s just a number at the end of the day.

Whenever I have these down days, I take a break from the gram for a few days. I think it’s important to reflect and enjoy your ‘real’ life away from what can be a slightly toxic social media platform. Though, I do get social media anxiety, especially being away from Instagram, the FOMO is real.

However, having said that, I do love the gram for connecting with others, for having a visually pleasing feed, for people to ‘laugh’ at your stories for being silly with your partner and pup. I also love finding inspiration from fellow bloggers and other content creators (such a wanky term I know). I love finding new things to buy although my debit card doesn’t agree.

I don’t quite know how to summarise this post, apart from thank you to you, yes you! Who read my blog and let me pour my heart out from time to time. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without my blog, it gives me so much joy. Any who, that is why I have a love/hate relationship with Insta.

I’d love to know how you feel about Instagram these days? Do you still use it?

Let’s get social. Follow me on Instagram or Twitter. I’m also on BloglovinPinterest and Youtube.


  1. Becky
    February 18, 2021 / 1:56 pm

    Oh I couldn’t agree more.
    I don’t even look at the insights anymore.
    I don’t care who follows me, who doesn’t, who likes my sh*t, who doesn’t.
    Then I find myself scrolling, often on weekends if I’m alone and I feel like everyone’s having an excellent life. They’re not. It’s lockdown 3.
    They are showing you not even 1% of their day. And it’s bonkers.
    I need to change my feed up at the moment, it’s starting to get full of babies and pregnancy and engagements. Dont get me wrong I’m happy for those people but they aren’t my interests.
    I’ve found myself gravitating towards Disney aesthetics as an escapism and I like finding new people who post random things.
    But agree gone are the days you stick up a picture of a cloud with a caption of an emoji of a cloud.

    On the other hand I’ve met some beautiful beautiful real life babes who have become real friends. It’s hard. It’s a balance. But it certainly isn’t reality.

    • zoey
      February 18, 2021 / 2:23 pm

      Thanks for your comment Becky. Insights really get me down and I know it shouldn’t.
      Oh so very true, it is lockdown 3, why are some people pretending to have their best lives.

      Oh same, I follow a few people with children, but it’s depressing seeing babies all the time. Maybe we should do an Instagram cull?

      I’m in exactly the same boat. I’ve met some lovely people who I’d consider friends through Instagram. It’s great for connecting with others. x

      • Becky
        February 18, 2021 / 6:23 pm

        I’m soooo thinking about doing a cull. I’m all for muting those that don’t provide the energy I need.

        And I agree in no way could I criticise you feeling like that about insights. I think we’ve all gotten into that rut one or two (hundred) times. But knowing it, calling yourself out, owning it. Strong behaviours. Remembering the bits we love about the gram is where we should aim for right ❤❤ xx

  2. February 18, 2021 / 8:00 pm

    I do agree that I feel so rejuvinated not worrying about my socials and being glued to my phone and makes me more excited to come back to it again.

    XX Angelica

    • zoey
      February 19, 2021 / 8:07 pm

      Whenever I take breaks, I always feel excited to come back and don’t mindlessly scroll like I used to. Dunno how long that’ll last but hey ho. x

  3. February 19, 2021 / 6:41 pm

    I agree with all you’ve said! I much prefer blogs and hate that Instagram is so competitive, with girls even starting reels in their underwear these days, to get attention! I find Instagram quite boring – it’s like the glossy pages of a magazine that I skip by! That said, I quite enjoy watching stories, but it’s so hard to keep up! x


    • zoey
      February 19, 2021 / 8:09 pm

      Same I much prefer blogs to Instagram! Yeah you’re right it’s so competitive, it’s hard to stand out these days. I love stories, I’m always on there lol. x

  4. February 20, 2021 / 5:24 pm

    I completely agree with all of this, It’s so hard to try and be positive when your constantly comparing yourself and you’re life to everything you see on there xx

    • zoey
      February 20, 2021 / 5:44 pm

      It’s SO hard comparing yourself with others. One day I won’t care anymore haha. x

  5. February 21, 2021 / 3:43 pm

    I totally feel you with this. For me it’s the lack of control, with a blog for example, I know I can put in the work and get it our there and watch the views/ interaction reflect that. But IG just feels so random. sometimes only 100 see my post, sometimes 2000- and it’s sad the the higher numbers do make you feel better but it inevitabley comes with the runniest days when a post you’re proud of crashes and burns (so to speak- from the insights). I think I’d love the app more again if likes were hidden but then again, who knows.
    It’s a weird one but like you, I don’t think it will be around forever. Something else will take over one day.

    Kathleen / http://www.madeinthe1990s.com

    • zoey
      February 21, 2021 / 7:54 pm

      Yeah you’re right, Instagram is random! I think so too, if they removed likes, it would be a much happier platform.
      It’s like tumblr and myspace, nobody uses them anymore. Something new has to come along. x

  6. February 21, 2021 / 8:08 pm

    I feel the same with Instagram – I love creating content but the pay off is pretty rubbish. I just wish the algorithm was different (or how it used to be), so people can actually see your content!

    Lucy | Forever September

    • zoey
      February 22, 2021 / 12:05 pm

      Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. Same, I wish they’d go back to the old algorithm. Showing 5-10% to your followers really isn’t good enough. x

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